And nothing shall offend them

Ryan Sharp

Comm 150 2:00PM MWF

“And nothing shall offend them”

I have some personal memories of Elder Bednar when he came and spoke to my mission a few years ago. It was basically a long question and answer session where we all had the opportunity to ask him anything that was on our minds about missionary work or doctrinal questions.

I remember he remarked that this talk about offense was actually often misunderstood. The most important part of it tended to be neglected and forgotten because of the doctrines that were taught about being offended. He said the core of the message was the invitations to prayerfully consider those who are inactive and to visit them with an invitation to come worship with us again. The other invitation was to learn and apply the teachings in the scriptures about offense. I think he felt that many members got too caught up in the doctrine that offense taken is a choice, and they got carried away with it thinking that they don’t need to be as careful about what they say. It overshadowed the most important part which was the invitations.

While its definitely true that it is a choice to be offended, it shouldn’t ease our minds into thinking that we don’t need to be sensitive to others. If we know that something will offend someone and we choose to say it anyways, then I think we are in sin. That would be a greater sin I believe for the one who said it than the one who took offense. If anything, I think this talk should make us even more careful and aware of what we say so that this is avoided if at all possible. Sometimes it just can’t be completely avoided, but I think in almost all cases it can be avoided if we are prayerful and listen to the spirit when we speak. Likewise, if the receiver is listening to the spirit then they too will avoid offense being taken.

I think taking offense is often an outward expression of a deeper problem sometimes. Elder Bednar said that many times these people still had testimonies and fond memories of their conversion to the church, but many times the people that take offense don’t have a solid foundation. Many members may ride solely off of how kind and considerate the people in the ward are. They might base their activity in the church simply on a close friend or family member. They might also base it just on the fact that church gives them a sense of belonging. These are certainly not bad things, but they will easily just vanish away if someone says something that offended them. If there is no testimony founded in Christ and the gospel, then all it takes is just one small offense to push them into complete inactivity.

I remember talking with people on my mission who were inactive and had been offended. Many times these people only came to church because of how much they liked the Bishop or the missionaries. When they were gone, or had said something considered offensive, they just lost all desire to go anymore. In these cases, the real concern wasn’t found until they had left the church. Unfortunately, I often felt hopeless in these cases because I knew they had to make the choice themselves to seek for a real testimony. They usually didn’t even have the desire to gain one, they had already made the choice to permanently leave the church for good. But if we take Elder Bednar’s invitation, than I think we’ll find those people prepared to come back.