Personal Challenge

Ryan Sharp

Comm 150 MWF 2-3PM

Personal challenge

3-17-2010

I chose my brother as the person for this personal challenge. He is probably the person that I am closest to here at school. I only get to see my brother a couple times a week, but I chose to be a better listener to him with the limited times I had to spend time with him.

Just as a background behind my brother, he lives in Idaho Falls with his girlfriend. He is an inactive member of the church and has been so basically since he was baptized. I usually don’t talk a lot about the gospel with him as it never seems appropriate at the time, but I do try to be an example to him simply as a brother and not as a missionary.

I really noticed a difference in our relationship as I chose to listen more to what he was saying instead of being distracted by homework and hobbies. In the past he often came over just to hang out and talk while I was busy with school or just watching tv. I never really gave him my full attention as I should have.

But recently I decided to focus exclusively on him and what was going on in his life, and I found that he was more and more open with me as I did so. He expressed his feelings about his relationship with his girlfriend, the problems they’re having, and what he could to solve it. He said things about his feelings and emotions that I have never heard him say in such a personal way before. As brothers, we really don’t talk a whole lot about our emotions and personal relationships in detail, but this time he did.

It really surprised me too. As I listened carefully and tried to extract the emotions behind his words, I felt a sense of my love for him. We don’t express our brotherly love in a traditional way because it feels so awkward for us, but when we just spend time together it says a lot. We don’t verbally express our love, but we both agree that actions speak louder than words.

I also found as I listened to him more that I could find the words to say more easily. The responses just flowed out as I simply focused on listening to him and not trying to think ahead. It was so much more relaxed as well. I didn’t worry about trying to give him the best advice or trying to figure out a solution to his problems. I just listened, and he appreciated it. He seemed uplifted too as sometimes he just needs to get something off his chest.

My understanding of what’s going on in his life increased dramatically as well of course. I understand how his relationship is going with his girlfriend better now than ever simply because I listened for the feelings. Watching for body language was also helpful in determining what my brother was really saying. He often likes to keep those things to himself which is why it amazed me how much I could learn about him by just listening.

I would say this personal challenge has become more of a learning experience and a changing experience than simply another assignment to me. Having a closer relationship with my brother is more than I could have expected from this assignment.